JESUS SHELBY I HARDLY REMEMBER WATCHING THIS SHOW. okay um. okay.

when of if I started shipping it. 

god. i’m pretty sure it was the bomb episode? which is awful and cliche, but. god. the ‘it was a thursday morning’ speech, and when bomb squad guy told her to imagine anyone, someone she trusts, to tell her everything was gonna be okay? and she pictured him? CHEESY AND SILLY BUT FML FML, it got to me. i am many things, but i am not immune to that shit. and when it was all over and he was looking around for her all frantic and adele, perfect human that she is, was all “that is not the ‘she’ he was asking for” all matter of fact because obviously. done. done and done. 

my thoughts:

here’s the thing. derek shepard is an ass. everyone knows this. i know this, knew it even at the height of my fangirl love for him. i accept this about him and choose to ship this shit anyway. i stopped watching around season…four-ish? and at that point, I still felt like despite all the mistakes that both of them made, they still deserved each other, and the fact that they now seem to be happy with their kid makes me smile, because i still hold onto the feelings they used to give me. which basically boils down to: they were both drowning, and then they met at a bar of all places and it was like coming up for air.  

What makes me happy about them:

BALLS. um. their season 2 drama was pretty much desperate longing angst at its finest, i gotta say.

What makes me sad about them:

all the bullshit that came after like…god, mid-season three? idek man. why is shonda rhimes the worst.

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

uhhhhh. i’ve read like one fic for them and it was great so idk. i guess what would annoy me would be the needless vilification of addison and/or cristina because not everyone needs to be a goddamn shipper, and lbr, in a lot of cases they shouldn’t be. 

things I look for in fanfic:

uh. i guess in general~ honest characterization? derek has done shitty things. acknowledge that and fix it, since the show refuses to. meredith has made mistakes, but she is not the horrible bitch fandom makes her out to be, so don’t do that either? IDK LIKE I SAID I ONLY READ THAT ONE FIC AND IT WAS PERFECT IDK

My kinks:

uh

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

Meredith/Alex, obviously. Derek/Addison i suppose?  

My happily ever after for them:

where they’re currently at i guess? they seem pretty happy with their bb, from the gifsets i’ve seen, so…i guess that’s great?

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Der is obvs the big spoon it’s canon shut up. 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

doing doctor-things with each other? remember in the first two seasons when they would work on cases together and they were clearly enjoying each other so much and respected each other and ugh ugh i miss it ngl.